tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5464795713319741089.post1133879923367343195..comments2023-10-06T16:40:05.513+01:00Comments on Shahbir's Artwork and Other Things: New ideas: Santa's Coming, A & B The Christmas CrackerShahbir A Hameedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17294778243764518917noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5464795713319741089.post-8092107496610519652010-02-16T21:45:45.202+00:002010-02-16T21:45:45.202+00:00Stylistically, many students’ essays still lack th...Stylistically, many students’ essays still lack the required formality and tone for a University level written assignment. Many of you write as if you’re ‘chatting’ to your reader or writing a blog entry. This is inappropriate and you need to cultivate a more appropriate style if your discussions are to be authoritative and properly presented. Below are some suggestions re. use of language; take note and use!<br /> <br />Use good, formal English and grammar, <br /> see: http://www.ucl.ac.uk/internet-grammar/home.htm<br /> <br /> Use objective language: e.g. rather than 'I find it difficult to identify ...'<br /> <br /> 'It is often difficult to identify...'<br /> 'It can be seen that...<br /> 'There are a number of...'<br /> <br /> Adopt a cautious academic style; avoid conclusive statements: e.g. use may, might, it seems that, appears to, possibly, probably, seemingly, the evidence suggests that, it could be argued that, research indicates...<br /> <br /> Avoid assumptions and generalisations: e.g. everyone can see, everybody knows, public opinion is...<br /> <br /> If you make a statement, always present evidence to support it.<br /><br />Within your essay you will be hoping to demonstrate or prove something. You will have a point of view that you wish to convey to your reader. In other words, your essay should 'say' something.<br /> <br /> You should support what you wish to say with a reasoned argument and evidence.<br /> <br /> A reasoned argument consists of a series of logical steps you make in order to lead to a point where you can form some sort of judgement on the issue you have been examining, or come to some sort of conclusion.<br /><br />Paragraphs are organised in order to build your argument in a series of logical steps<br /> <br /> A typical paragraph is concerned with a single step in your argument<br /> <br /> The first sentence of a paragraph is the topic sentence. It clearly states which step in your argument you intend to deal with in this paragraph<br /> <br /> Subsequent sentences explain, define and expand upon the topic sentence<br /> <br /> Evidence is offered<br /> <br /> Evidence is commented on<br /> <br /> A conclusion may be reached<br /> <br /> Try to make each paragraph arise out of the previous paragraph and lead into the subsequent one<br /><br />Below are some useful ‘linking’ words and phrases that suit the formal tone of an academic assignment – get used to using them to structure clear, articulate and confident sounding sentences.<br /><br /> To indicate timescales:<br /> when, while, after, before, then<br /> <br /> To draw conclusions:<br /> because, if, although, so that, therefore<br /> <br /> To offer an alternative view:<br /> however, alternatively, although, nevertheless, while<br /> To support a point:<br /> or, similarly, incidentally<br /> <br /> To add more to a point:<br /> also, moreover, furthermore, again, further, what is more, in addition, then<br /> besides, as well<br /> either, not only, but also, similarly, correspondingly, in the same way, indeed<br /> with respect to, regarding<br /> <br /> To put an idea in a different way:<br /> in other words, rather, or, in that case<br /> in view of this, with this in mind<br /> to look at this another way<br /> <br /> To introduce and use examples:<br /> for instance, for example, namely, an example of this is<br /> such as, as follows, including<br /> especially, particularly, notably<br /> <br /> To introduce an alternative viewpoint:<br /> by contrast, another way of viewing this is, alternatively, again, rather, another possibility is..<br /> conversely, in comparison, on the contrary, although, though<br /> <br /> To return to emphasise an earlier point:<br /> however, nonetheless, despite, in spite of<br /> while.. may be true<br /> although, though, at the same time, although.. may have a good point<br /> <br /> To show the results of the argument: <br /> therefore, accordingly, as a result<br /> so, it can be seen that<br /> resulting from this, consequently, now<br /> because of this, hence, for this reason, owing to, this suggests that, it follows that<br />in other words, in that case, that implies<br /> <br />To sum up or conclude:<br /> therefore, in conclusion, to conclude, on the whole<br /> to summarise, to sum up, in brief, overall, thustutorphilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11842833126210822641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5464795713319741089.post-7267291753497052002010-02-16T21:45:14.837+00:002010-02-16T21:45:14.837+00:00“1,500 word written assignment that analyses criti...“1,500 word written assignment that analyses critically one film in terms of the relationship between story and structure; you should consider camera movement, editing, and the order of scenes”<br /><br /><br />While the essay questions asks you to analyse one film in terms of the relationship between story and structure, you are nonetheless expected to contextualise your analysis – and that means you have to widen your frame of reference to include discussion of other, related films and associated ideas – and also the ‘time-line’ within which your case-study sits.<br /><br />So, for example, if you are focusing on a scene in a contemporary film which makes dramatic use of montage editing and quick-fire juxtaposition of imagery (the fight scenes in Gladiator, the beach landings in Saving Private Ryan, the bird attacks in The Birds…) no discussion of this scene would be complete without you first demonstrating your knowledge of the wider context for your analysis – i.e., the ‘invisible editing’ approach as championed by W.D. Griffith, and the alternate ‘Eisensteinian’ collisions adopted by Russian filmmakers (and now absorbed into the grammar of mainstream movies). In order to further demonstrate your appreciation for the ‘time-line’ of editing and its conventions, you should make reference to key sequences in key films – ‘The Odessa Steps sequence’ from Sergei Eistenstein’s Battleship Potemkin (as in scene in the Cutting Edge documentary, but also viewable here in full<br /><br /> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps-v-kZzfec<br /><br />Also – if further proof were needed of the influence of this scene, watch <br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH1tO2D3LCI&feature=related<br /><br />The Cutting Edge documentary, as shown on Monday 15th Feb, is viewable on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJcQgQHR78Q<br /><br />If you choose to quote from any of the ‘talking head’ sections (Ridley Scott, Walter Murch etc.), in support of your discussion, ensure you put the documentary’s original details in your bibliography (as opposed to the You Tube url). For official title and release date etc. visit <br /><br />http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cutting-Edge-Magic-Editing-Region/dp/B0009PVZEG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1266311784&sr=1-1<br /><br />Put simply, whatever film you choose to discuss, you will need to link it to its ‘ancestors’ and also, where appropriate, to its ‘children’ – i.e., what influenced it/what it influenced.<br /><br />Regarding the ‘language of editing etc.’ the following site is useful – if ugly!<br /><br />http://www.aber.ac.uk/media/Documents/short/gramtv.html<br /><br />I suggest you use it only as a starting point for focusing your research parameters – not as the fount of all knowledge (it isn’t!).<br /><br />Something that keeps coming up is how to cite websites using the Harvard Method:<br /><br />GO HERE!!!!! IT’S GOT ALL THE ANSWERS!<br /><br />http://www.ucreative.ac.uk/index.cfm?articleid=25881tutorphilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11842833126210822641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5464795713319741089.post-27778240309940427662010-02-16T21:44:27.161+00:002010-02-16T21:44:27.161+00:00Interim Online Review 16/02/2010
Hey Shahbs,
I&...Interim Online Review 16/02/2010<br /><br />Hey Shahbs,<br /><br />I'm confused. You seem to be complicating your story ideas - not refining them... These latest stories seem less focused and further away from your three story components than before - and I'm worried. The second idea makes very little sense - at least to me - and while the first idea has potential in terms of Santa being the contortionist, the 'airport' is all but absent... what happened to the other idea - with the final act 'airport' conclusion? You need to think very carefully now Shahbs about how you progress. You need to better identify the specific challenges of crafting a ONE MINUTE animation; see the following animation for a great example of a 3 act story...<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzg2jjH2z8E<br /><br />It's simple, expressive and self-contained - and dialogue free; I want you to really watch this and think about it - and also go on myUCA and look again at the original briefing presentation - look at the 3 act structure and look at the ways in which stories are developed; i.e. character against character, or character against fairy-lights (situation). I still believe that you can tell a great story about a man tying himself in knots trying to complete his 'Christmas Grotto' - and just when he'd happy and triumphant, the audience sees that he's about to be landed on by a plane... the reason why it works is because of something called CAUSALITY (cause and effect) - in this instance, the fairylights 'cause' the story, because a) they make your character crazy, and b) they cause the plane to arrive - and so give you a proper rounded off conclusion.<br /><br />What is important to me (and to you, I hope) is that you actually understand why certain combinations go together better - if you don't, if you don't start to refine your skills, then we have a problem, Shahbs.<br /><br />Please see the following 2 comments for guidance re, the written assignment. You are in desperate need to improving your essay writing, so I suggest you spend time absorbing the information - particularly the advice regarding how to develop a more formal style of writing.tutorphilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11842833126210822641noreply@blogger.com